Results

Hey, this is Jeremy writing this post. Rachel and I received word last Thursday the 20th of October that we were not pregnant. Words cannot express how devastated we were to hear this news, especially after all of the positive news and momentum that we were riding. We will always have a closeness and a bond to our two miracles no matter what and will not go a day without thinking about them. Currently, we are using this time to grieve and discuss options with our doctor before we begin to plan our next steps. We do thank God for our other 8 embryos that we were so fortunate to be able to freeze.

This is an open letter to Rachel about our journey thus far and our desire to have children:

The news we heard last week to me was numbing at first. In no way was I naive enough to think that hearing that news was not a possibility, but it was still so unbelievable. With all of these hoops we've had to jump through and roadblocks we've encountered, it's tempting to let dangerous thoughts enter our minds like, "What if we never become parents?".

A fellow classmate of mine in my program at Trevecca spoke to me about the infertility he and his wife went through. He spoke to questions and doubts such as these, sharing with me that he and his wife experienced the same feelings. Upon speaking with a pastor at their church he comforted them by telling them that God placed this desire in their hearts of wanting to be parents for a reason. Unless this desire is removed by God, we shouldn't ask questions concerning our fitness, ability, or role in becoming parents. And to be honest, I can't envision this desire ever leaving our hearts. Finally, with God still allowing this desire in our hearts, it is so important for us to remember that God does work miracles every day! I love you and cannot wait until you are the mother of our children!


"You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples."
Psalm 77:14

Transfer Day!

Yesterday was truly an amazing day. Jeremy had the day off work and went with me to my acupuncture appointment. After the appointment we went to Newk's and had a nice lunch before the transfer. I got some blood work done and then Jeremy and I went to our room to get ready. Here we are dressed up for the big day...

I love you JEREMY!

Right before the transfer they gave us a picture of our little ones. You'll notice that they each have a nickname that we came up with along with some friends:)

Aren't they cute!!!

The cells on the outer ring are what will be the placenta and the middle collection of cells is the baby. Their cells are growing rapidly now and should be hatching and implanting tomorrow.  God's creation is truly amazing and we are so in love with our little miracles.

Everything went perfect during the transfer and the embryologist said it was one of the easiest transfers she has ever seen. I will have my beta (pregnancy test) on October 20th, so please, please, please pray for positive results! 

God answered our prayers and 8 perfect embryos are now frozen. We were told this rarely happens! This will greatly increase our own chances of having a family one day and also having the chance to help other families struggling with infertility. Jeremy and I are huge supporters of embryo adoption and we are hoping to have the opportunity to help other couples going through fertility struggles.  Look up embryo adoption, you'll be blown away too!  So thank you God, we give You all the glory!

Jeremy and I have decided to keep the results to ourselves for the time being and we appreciate your continued prayers, love, and support.

STICK BABIES STICK!!!

Love, mommy and daddy

Dear babies...

I decided to blog about our journey for two reasons:
1) To update our close friends and family
2) The main purpose was to document our walk through IVF, so one day (if God is willing) our children can read about this journey and see how much we desired to be their parents.  

With that being said.... Jeremy and I are both going to take turns writing to our little miracles.


Dear babies,
From the moment I heard we had embryos I was instantly in love.  You are NOT just cells to us, you have always been and will always be our children.  You have overcome many hurdles and have made me the proudest mommy in the whole wide world.  I have prayed and prayed for God to do big things with every single one of you and I believe He is doing just that.  To the first two little ones that will be implanted tomorrow: please find your perfect spot and don't forget to dig in REALLY deep.  I will be with you every step and I know you both can do it!!!  To the ones that will be frozen: don't worry babies, it won't be much longer.  I promise you will be next.  

Tomorrow, when we get to see you both for the first time it will be one of the happiest moments of my life. I cannot wait to see your pictures and hear the doctor say, " there they are!".  Every single one of you have been well worth the wait.  Shine Babies Shine...  tomorrow is your big day!
Love always, mommy


To our children,
I am so excited to get tomorrow started! Having the chance to be your parent has been my dream for a long time now. I feel this connection to you already through knowing that God allowed you to be created and has given your mother and me this opportunity. Although we don't know everything about you yet, I feel like I already know you from the many updates of your growth and progress. Your mother and I speak the truth when we say that we've known you ALL of your life.

I even feel like I've loved you long before this step in our journey. Ever since we decided to be parents, I have had the strongest desire to be YOUR parent and have loved you ever since then. God has never once removed my desire to be your parent. I have always longed for you. I love you and know you will do awesome on your big day tomorrow. Then, you will spend time with mommy until you come and hang out with both of us. 
Love, daddy

Our transfer is tomorrow at one. We need your prayers now more than ever.

Stick Babies Stick!!!

Love, mommy and daddy 

Transfer here we come!

God has blessed us with another wonderful report. While sitting in church this morning the embryologist called us. Jeremy and I made a mad dash to the hallway (we hope we didn't make a scene). She said that we still have 13 above average, 2 average, and we didn't hear about the little one. She says we now have an 80% chance of being able to freeze after transfer. We will not hear from her tomorrow because on day 4 they do not evaluate the embryos. She explained why but we've decided that it's so they can rest up for their big day:).

Our transfer is Tuesday at 1 p.m. We have been waiting for this day for a very long time and it's so surreal that it's right around the corner. God has truly been preparing our hearts for the past two years and we can say without a shadow of a doubt that we trust His plans now more than ever. Our babies still have multiple hurdles to overcome before Tuesday, so please continue to pray for our little miracles. 

To our miracles: We are so very proud of you and every day you amaze us more and more!

Grow Babies Grow!!!

Love, mommy and daddy

Big things are happening:)

If there was any shadow of doubt that miracles don't exist, that doubt has been erased after today's discoveries. God showed up big-time for us! 

Last night sixteen out of sixteen of our precious embryos divided. The embryologist said we were off to a great start because 13 of them are above average, 2 are average, and 1 is a slow starter. Immediately tears came as feelings of joy and excitement filled our hearts. We are the proud parents of 16 embryos!! Our embryos are such superstars that we will be doing a five day transfer so that the strongest little ones can be implanted and find their nice and cozy spot for the next 10 months. She even said that we have a 70% chance of being able to freeze embryos not transferred. Wow, we are still trying to let all of this sink in. Every time I think about the magnitude of our journey I begin to joyfully cry.

Tonight is a new hurdle for our 16 little ones and tomorrow we will get another report of their progress. They must be stronger now than ever, and we couldn't be more proud of them. So please send prayers again for them tonight as they grow and as we draw nearer to our transfer date. Our official transfer date is Tuesday!

Grow Babies Grow!!!

I have been using a rice bag that I heat in the microwave as a heating pad. It was recommended by my acupuncturist. Love it!  However, there's one small problem: somebody else loves it too...

Can we say spoiled!

Jennifer sent us some more pictures and my mom was right on point in saying that this picture is very symbolic of our journey, and we couldn't agree more.

We're in this together...

Tonight we are going to celebrate as our little fighters continue to make us the proudest parents in the whole wide world. It has been well worth the wait. 

Thank you so much God!  We give you all the glory!

Grow Babies Grow!
Love, mommy and daddy

Retrieval and fertilization report

Yesterday morning we checked in at the surgical center at 7 a.m. The receptionist got a kick out of how excited I was. She said most women were grumpy because of the hormones. She said I was one of the "happy ones". As she sent us away, she predicted we'd have twins. I reminded Jeremy to be thankful that I was one of the "happy ones" and not one of the "grumpy ones".

The retrieval went very smooth. I woke up to a nurse telling me, "they got 30 eggs". It was music to my ears. The rest of the day Jeremy and I rested and celebrated our good news.

Waiting to get my IV.   I want the good stuff! :)

The embryologist called this morning and told us that out of 30 eggs, 23 were mature and 16 fertilized normally using ICSI. The embryologist seemed very pleased with our numbers and said she would be calling again tomorrow. She reminded us that the next 24 hours are extremely important because they will have their first cell division. My maternal instincts have already kicked in. I am so proud of our 16 precious babies and I pray for many little fighters. I wish I could do the work for them, but I can't. Trust and patience are the themes of this new chapter in our IVF process. Every day is a new and different hurdle for our embryos and we will rejoice with them as they grow. I knew this process was going to be hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I must trust that God is with the embryologist and our little ones as they jump over their first hurdle tonight. Please pray for a good report tomorrow.

GROW BABIES GROW!!!

I accidentally left the back door open today and McLean made his great escape. I came home finding him just hanging out in our parking lot. 

Hi mom!

  

All day he's been whining at the back door for us to let him out. It's starting to get annoying. :)

Let me go outside and play!

I am thankful this process is no longer about me and my follicles.  It's all about those precious fighters dividing right now.  Keep the prayers coming! 

Grow babies grow!
Love, mommy and daddy

Trigger time

STOP, Trigger time!

***MC Hammer probably wouldn't appreciate me changing his lryics, but I could not resist!

After:
6 Ultrasounds
7 times giving blood
40+ follicles growing
60+ shots
A few good crying sessions
Many smiles
Tons of prayers
and LOTS of LOVE

I am ready!!!

Jeremy will give me my trigger shot tonight at 9.  I will rest tomorrow and retrival will be Thursday at 8 am.  I have started a high protein/ Gatorade diet to hopefully prevent hyperstimulation.  What is hyperstimulation?  You can read about it HERE.  It doesn't happen often, but the nurse warned me today that I am a high risk candidate. So, please pray I stay healthy:)  Thank you.

Today's highlight...
Every time I go to the clinic, the same sweet woman draws my blood.  This morning, she asked me if I was a runner? 
Me: Yes, I enjoy running.
Sweet lady: I knew it...  I had this mental picture of you running while strolling your baby.
Me:  Thank you,  I look forward to it.
Her words just melted my heart:)

After retrieval, I promise Jeremy will send out an update.
Much love,

Rested

Wow... what a difference sleep can make.  I feel a millions times better today.  Tomorrow I am going to the HR department and applying for medical leave for two weeks. :)

This morning I had another ultrasound.  When the sonographer started the exam she said, "Oh wow!  I don't even know where to start with you.  You have so many (follicles)."  Well, what can I say... I guess I am an egg-making machine. I still have 30 to 40 growing strong.  My next ultrasound is tomorrow morning.  They need to watch me more closely to make sure I don't hyper stimulate.  

Right now I am doing 5 shots a day and my belly is running out of space.  I promise I ice before and after but it is still so black and blue.  Thank goodness it's not bathing suit season or I would be wearing a one piece.  I was hoping today would be the last day of stimming shots but the nurse just called and I am to continue for one or two more days.  Most likely, retrieval will be Wednesday or Thursday.  Almost time... it's going so fast!

My OH-so-VERY-talented friend Jennifer took some pictures of us last weekend.  Here is a sneak peak.  Thank you Jennifer, we love them!  Check out her awesome blog HERE. 

This picture cracks me up.  I am so not hardcore.

Huge prayer request!

I am exhausted.  Right now, I NEED to be getting more rest, not less. 
Here's how my week has gone:
I get off at 11 pm, go to sleep between 12 and 1am... then I have to get up at 6 am to get to the clinic for blood work and ultrasound. I have averaged about 5-6 hours a night this week.  I usually get around 9 hours a night. Also, I was stressing over work stuff last night and only got two hours of sleep. 
Enough is enough.

Jeremy has given me two choices:
1) I quit (yes, quit. My job has been a problem for awhile)
2) I go out on medical leave for about 3 weeks

I am working a 12 hour shift today.  Not sure I will make it. 
I really need your prayers, thank you.